Category Archives: Uncategorized

It’s Christmas… Deck the halls with ex’s crawling out of the woodwork

Sometime you go through life, minding your own business, when your ex from way back appears like the ghost of Christmas past and haunts you. Last year it was my ex Will who wanted me to ditch my boyfriend and come hang out. Awkward! Haven’t heard from you since you dumped me and now you want a “visit” while you are in town. Nothing makes one feel more like a piece of ass. Then comes Chris. Ahhh Chris. Says he’s moving away but we will keep in touch then drops off the face of the earth for two years. Yet here he is, in town for the holiday. Want to get together? You were always so amazing… I remember that about you. Do you also remember that I’m not the type of girl to cheat or fall prey to bullshit from ex boyfriends?

And he’s dating someone! She’s a hedge fund manager. Why in the name of God would you cheat on her? Something must be tragically flawed in these guys! Either that, or I’m the amazing piece of ass that they claim. I’m voting the former.

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The under appreciated homemaker

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I’ve gone from love-struck dumbass to reality-facing dumbass over the last year. However you look at it, it is disappointing. Those that know me best will attest to my intense dislike of household chores and my jubilation at the approach of the fall holidays. You see, Halloween is my favorite holiday. I have always celebrated with tons of decorations and fanfare. This year has proved a challenge for me. I’ve been working so hard and come home so many nights exhausted, frustrated, and in a horrid mood, that the month has flown by with nary a creepy spider or cobweb. I just haven’t been in the mood. Which also makes me a bad mother because my children love Halloween as much, if not more, than I do. They have asked and asked… And I have blown them off. Well not today. Despite my being jet-lagged from a flight from Seattle and tired from work I came home, cleaned, put up decorations, made everyone’s favorite dinner, completed a diorama with my son, and whipped up a batch of pumpkin cookies from scratch. In the process I skinned my knuckle, hurt my already hurt shoulder and wrist quite a bit, and managed to get royally pissed. My boyfriend, who I love very much but want to throttle every now and again, said I shouldn’t be lifting all the heavy holiday tubs around when I am hurt. I jokingly respond, “so you are going to help next time.” He looks me dead in the eye and says no. That I shouldn’t have decorated and done all this in the first place. Gee thanks sweetie! And also, screw you. How about “thanks” or “looks nice” or “of course I will help you do something that is important to you regardless of its lack of importance to me.” No such luck. I’m now plotting my revenge.

Poor courtship ritual #1

Poor courtship ritual #1

There are good conversation starters and then there is this. I know that everyone gets their jollies in their own particular way and far be it for me to try to contain someone’s sexuality. However, as opening lines go, this has to be one of the strangest. I wonder how many women he has sent this particular line to. Moreover, I wonder at the responses. Has he ever scored a date from this gem? Somehow I think not. The question then precedes to the obvious… Why are you doing this? If it doesn’t work, why not find a new approach? Pavlov and his cronies would turn over in their graves knowing that a behavior, when not met with a positive reinforcer, continues to exist and does not extinguish itself. Perhaps negative reinforcement is all it takes. This then begs the statement… “This dude is really messed up!”

Welcome single friends… And friends with a decent sense of humor. I have always been interested in┬áthe human courtship ritual we call dating. I would like to share my experiences in this forum so that the world can laugh and cry with me. (Mostly Laugh) And so I can hopfully learn something about myself and others and maybe even find love. Although online dating has me convinced that there are worse things than dying alone!