Tag Archives: dating

It’s Christmas… Deck the halls with ex’s crawling out of the woodwork

Sometime you go through life, minding your own business, when your ex from way back appears like the ghost of Christmas past and haunts you. Last year it was my ex Will who wanted me to ditch my boyfriend and come hang out. Awkward! Haven’t heard from you since you dumped me and now you want a “visit” while you are in town. Nothing makes one feel more like a piece of ass. Then comes Chris. Ahhh Chris. Says he’s moving away but we will keep in touch then drops off the face of the earth for two years. Yet here he is, in town for the holiday. Want to get together? You were always so amazing… I remember that about you. Do you also remember that I’m not the type of girl to cheat or fall prey to bullshit from ex boyfriends?

And he’s dating someone! She’s a hedge fund manager. Why in the name of God would you cheat on her? Something must be tragically flawed in these guys! Either that, or I’m the amazing piece of ass that they claim. I’m voting the former.

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Where do babies come from?

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When my daughter asked me where babies come from,
I lied.

Here’s what I didn’t say.

Babies come from hot nights and too many drinks.

Babies come from poor decisions, conversations with girlfriends in bathrooms packed with other women with makeup slowly running down their faces, and from packed clubs full of sweaty, straining bodies.

Babies come from broken condoms, and “I’m on the pill” and “I’ll pull out” and screams of “Oh God!! Do it!!!”

I won’t tell her that babies are made amidst moans of pleasure and hands sliding over bare skin, and open mouth kisses that taste of toothpaste and lust.

I didn’t mention that babies are created in a moment of fractured ecstasy where you belong to another; body and soul.

A time when a woman’s body is punctured and stroked and strains to join with that of a man.

Babies begin in online dating forums where lonely people look to meet each other for a night or a weekend or a lifetime and you can’t who is worth spending time with and who is going to become your next stalker.

Sometimes babies are made by ticking clocks, charts and graphs and monitors. Injections and schedules. Microscopes and doctors.

Babies can be made of desperation, “don’t leave me,” and empty marriages made of people with empty eyes who look to fill their lives with someone else’s.

Babies can be born of love, hate, loneliness, fear, boredom, and lust.

That’s where babies come from.

Interracial dating… Yes, we are those people

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I grew up in a small town. We weren’t some all white community or anything… But our population consisted of mostly white, black, and Hispanic people. Although there were Asian and Indian (yes, I know India is part of Asia) students, there weren’t very many. I’ve never been shy about interracial dating but dating people of Asian descent is a recent thing for me.

When we are around other Asian families, we get looks. Especially from the older generation. I want to shout- Yes, I’m dating this man! Yes, I love him! We aren’t as interesting as you think so quit staring!

The thing about Asian culture is that it’s much more traditional than white American culture. The concept of a first born, successful son dating someone who is not also Asian is a problem for some families. It’s hard for people who were not raised in that culture to understand. Even harder is the level of respect to parental wishes that Asian children give to their parents.

The reason I tell you this is because my boyfriend told his parents about us today. On the 21st we will have been dating for 5 months. I wasn’t worried exactly… But I was concerned. I don’t know what would have happened if they were against the match. So far they are ok with things… But they don’t know about the kids. Baby steps.

Wishes and good luck

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It has been forever since I posted here. I’ve felt the lack keenly. I’ve avoided blogging because of simple superstition. It’s silly, I know. I just have felt that shouting happiness to the world would invite disaster. I’m not sure why I feel so strongly about this. Still, I’m determined to face up to my fears and fill the chasm once again with my words.

I made a wish here. I wished for a man to love me. One who would give as well as take. The inequity in my most recent relationships… The unwillingness to hold strong against challenges… Left me feeling empty like a deflated balloon. I felt sure that everyone I met would fit easily into the mold left by the pervious occupants. Every time I think I know something… And am so sure that I’m right… Life shakes me and reminds me that I’m no god. It is not my place to know everything. The best I can hope for is to be sure of myself and even that is challenging sometimes.

My wish was granted. It was unexpected and still surprises me to this moment. I met someone who dazzles. He has, from the moment we met, become a part of my life so deeply it seems that he has always been part of it. I have no idea if it will last or if I am, as usual, way too optimistic. However, I am hoping for a wish come true. Here’s to granted wishes!

Online dating’s finest

The day I met the guy I’m currently seeing, I was on Tinder for a sum total of maybe 4 hours. In that time I collected these precious baby boys…

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I’m not sure what Ms. Right would look like for this one…

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So he’s a little emo and believes in vampires… Otherwise, he’s awesome!

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I was struck by what a cute couple these two make. Lol

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If a picture says a thousand words, why does this one leave me speechless?

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Just wanted all you ladies out there to know, I got me some kicks!

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Not only is his picture fantastic… He refers to himself in the third person! Awesome!

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Oh please don’t show me your junk unsolicited!!!!

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Who are you calling pretensions? I will have you know I’m just desperate and trying too hard.

A nice guy

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That bear made me laugh. I’m sure every guy who has ever walked hand in hand with my 5′ tall self has felt the same way. There are, however, truly nice guys out there who actually treasure and care for the woman that they are with without sacrificing that which makes them appealing in the first place. I’ve been lucky of late to have dated some nice and considerate guys. I do think that I’ve been incredibly fortunate in that regard.

I want to say that I may have struck the nice guy lotto recently. The guy that I am in the quasi-relationship state with currently has been more kind and generous to me than any of the others. And that’s saying something!!! Case in point, last night I was working late. He asked if I was going to be getting dinner. I said no and that I would be working till I got my work completed even if it would be late when I finished. The man got in his car and went and bought me take-out Thai (which I’ve only ordered in front of him once but he remembered my preferences) and brought food to me. Mind you, he lives about 40 minutes away! Everything he has done has been sweet and considerate but I don’t see him like a push over or as a “nice guy” the derogatory sense. He’s just so wonderful! Of course my pessimistic self is waiting for the other shoe to drop but damn if I don’t feel blessed today!

I hate intuition

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Apparently Einstein was not running on a brain full of estrogen that only shouts portents of doom. Those are not productive bursts of intuition. All they do is scream warnings of things that cannot be avoided and then sit smugly in the corner while their movie plays on the screen that is your life. Bastards!

So I’m single again. If you are keeping track, that was less than a month. Close to it if you count first contact to breakup. If you look back at my last 5 months, I’ve had two quasi boyfriends and one actual boyfriend that each lasted for about a month. I think I will now devote the rest of my dating life to avoiding the one month mark.

I feel cheap a bit. Used a lot. Very disposable. I truly believe that I am worth more. That there is a man who will see that and know it to be true. Experience would lead me to believe otherwise. Experience says that I am just a warm body to be used for however long is good (probably a month) and discarded.

Should I saddle up again and keep looking or just give up? Today I vote, give up.